Send A Kid To Camp

They start them young. As if three phone calls a night trying to sell, give, and survey crap wasn’t bad enough, they send their young door to door with cartons of said crap for every club and sports team ever invented. They solicit donations and sell cookies or tamales outside the grocery store. They chase you through mall parking lots with imitation perfumes. They stand on street corners stripped of all gimmicks save hunger and beg for you to give. Give! Give! Give till it hurts, and then buy some stale boxed peanut brittle from some kid you have never seen before, that somehow got into your gated community, because selling crap to you will keep him from doing drugs. Kids are supposed to be on drugs. That’s what growing up is, pulling bongs and dropping acid. How else are kids supposed to form an opinion on anything unless they experiment. That kid should be sitting at home playing XBOX, smoking dope, and eating peanut brittle. . .this damn six-dollar stale-ass peanut brittle.